.........

im relatively certain ive heard people say some bullshit along the lines of if it were meant to be it wouldnt be this difficult. and you know, im even relatively certain that said cliche statement is true....

that said....i know you by heart, as you know me, and im really not sure how to begin the process of learning someone else that thoroughly....and frankly, im not even sure im capable....

the fact that i had the energy to fall in love with you is....uh, baffling to say the least....but i did because you were worth it on a lot of levels, almost all levels....except for the one or two in which you were a total tool, but let's face it...

i am the biggest brat that ever lived. and i am as certain as ive been in the other things ive mentioned tonight, that i am never going to find someone who loves me so much for being the brat that i am, rather than the good girl i can also be at times.

for anyone else, i'll have to shed the brat that has been, thus far, my defining characteristic.....ok, pretty funny smart funny brat that i was (see, i told you, brat) but nevertheless - total pain in the ass.

and it occurred to me at one point to hold out for better....and everyone has told me that better is out there waiting....but i never thought anyone could ever be better than you....and now, eight years later....

i remain unconvinced.

until i am persuaded otherwise, i will operate under the belief that i have held as dear as any for nearly a decade.....every cell in my body, every fiber of my being was made to love and be loved by you. and every cell in your body, every fiber of your being, was made to love and be loved by me.

i defy anyone to prove me wrong.