Re-Post: After consulting my TV guide....

after consulting my tv guide.....

...I have determined that British TV is even worse than we previously
estimated. From the wastebasket documentary and the watercolor shows mom
used to watch to the documentary I watched last week on men who have sex
with anatomically accurate (if the standard for the female body is 'porn
star') dolls, I didn't know if it could get worse.

After all I watched the story of one man who cried when reunited with his
doll-friend after a three week separation while she was...erm...repaired for
general um...wear and tear ::shudder::. Following that was the story of
Mike, who has a collection of 8 of these dolls. He recently got a
girlfriend...rather haggard woman named Jodie, but Jodie has a pulse so she
gets bonus points. Also, Jodie wisely had reservations about dating a man
who is...intimate...with inanimate objects (after all its truly just one
baby step away from necrophilia). So Mike took his upcoming birthday as an
opportunity to introduce Jodie to her....competition.

It was so cute, if by cute you mean HORRIFYING - he set up a table for ten,
and seated his anna nicole smith-corpse look-alikes around the table and, in
a misguided gesture, put PARTY HATS ON THEM.

Jodie took this very well....she said '....ohhhh....look at that...this
is...nice.' which is so similar to what I would have said which
is....nothing. There would just be that little puff of smoke like when the
roadrunner takes off.

Later she said she applauded him and that she was 'fine with it....really
fine...fine with it.'

Her flagrant use of the word fine made it no surprise when the documentary
ended and a title came up on the blank screen. It read "A week after Mike's
birthday party, Jodie ended their relationship."

Well, I cite this horrendous British TV example for perspective because. It
actually gets worse. I didn't know....I couldn't have known....but it's
true. As I consulted my online TV Guide to see what was on tonight I came
upon this listing:

BBC 1 Tue Feb 20 11:40 PM
(40 min., United Kingdom, Social/Political Issues/Economics)
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Documentary about the British Toilet Association and its founder and head,
Richard Chisnell. The BTA's campaigns for more and better public lavatories
in the UK, but with half having closed down in the last ten years alone, the
task is daunting. To spur the nation on Richard set up the annual Loo of the
Year competition, with the top prize of the Golden Loo Seat.

Richard and his team of inspectors travel the country scrutinising public
loos that have been entered into the competition.

I would like to point out that I laughed out loud at the reference to the
'head' of the British Toilet Association. I would also like to know...is
there an American Toilet Association? Or is this exclusive to the Brits?

Anyway, I have officially lost my mind. Thanks BBC, thank you very much.