ummmmm

so. i need to clean my room. REALLY need to clean my room. for about four seconds i started folding some of my clothes to make room in my drawers for the THREE SUITCASES worth of clothes that just came back with me from freakin' London town.....but, well...like i said, that only lasted about four seconds.

and now the season finale of grey's anatomy is on...and i cant possibly be expected to do anything remotely productive while season three of grey's anatomy comes to its dramatic conclusion!!

oh, by the way. diet coke totally suppresses your appetite. i always thought that was bullshit but clearly i was going about it allllllll wrong. i just needed to be drinking about 15 times more diet coke than i already was....and now that i am, well....i may be growing a brain tumor but someday relatively soon i am going to be sooooo thin. unless thats a side effect of the hypothetical brain tumor?

oh well, no matter. i was planning on becoming a full fledged anorexic this summer anyway, and that would do major damage to my heart so its really an either or....and this one keeps me from knowing im starving, so it wins.

oooooh. mountain climber. axe in head. awesome. oh, on the show by the way...not in real life. fictional = awesome. real life = sucky.

blah blah...commercials. i should have known that theyd have to go straight from the guy with the axe in his head to commercial...ive been out of practice cause i havent even bothered to watch tv for the last few months...

(for an explanation on why i gave up trying to watch british television, see my upcoming re-post of my rant from the exact moment i turned off that daewoo forever.)

ooooh! and we're back! ew....frostbitten noses...not hot. hehe...not hot. get it....so unintended. ummmm anyway....remind me never to get frostbite. unlikely seeing as i live in california and, even if i didnt, i dont ski or climb or anything else with even the slightest potential for injury.

ok, let me sum up the der-mer exchange as it just took place on screen:

-i met a woman last night.
-should i be worried?
-yes, you should be worried.

now let me sum up the exchange that WOULD have taken place had i been in that scene.

him: i met a woman last night.
me:

see...i wouldnt have said anything....because i would have been too busy KILLING HIM. why ELSE would anyone say 'i met a woman last night' unless there were a criminal offense involved, the punishment for which could ONLY be death? no words necessary...certainly no need to ask if i should be worried. his bringing it up = i should be worried. except really, if you think about it, i shouldnt....because within seconds he will be dead and the point will be moot. siiigh. perfect.

i remember being at a restaurant in santa barbara with patrick a few years back and i guess the hostess kept walking by, seating people presumably....i dont know...anyway, out of motherfucking nowhere he says to me:

'i swear to god im not checking her out, she just keeps walking by in my eyeline.'

i was staying at his place and still i slept in his bed and made HIM sleep on the floor. and then from time to time id throw things at him because i was so offended that he could sleep after such a gaffe. should he not be begggggggiiiiiiing my forgiveness? i should be sleeping soundly and he should be pacing the kitchen floor trying to figure out a way to appease me. i was hitler. he was supposed to be neville chamberlain. he was not playing his part. bastard.

anyway....apparently this finale is bringing back some not so great memories for me.

hm, lets bring the focus back to the guy with the axe in his head. ooh elsewhere babies are being born! oh now back to axe guy.....

oh motherfucking FUCK he is pulling the axe out of that guys BRAIIIIINNNNNN. AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! wow.

now there is an ad on tv for a new anti-depressant and apparently their big advertising tactic is to make a commercial so depressing that you cant help but want to slit your wrists, and therefore you HAVE to call 1-800-cymbalta before YOU DIE.

good tactic....no demand? create one! even if youre not creating a demand for something benign like super neato sneakers. no, instead fuck with people's frame of mind. excellllllent idea.

hrm....i bet if i werent already on mood altering meds i could sue. not that i would sue. i am not jewish and i do not live in studio city or tarzana or the like.....episcopalian gentiles from pasadena do not sue.

i am rambling. because i have nottttttthhhhhhhhhinnnnnnngggggg to say. or do. or think. or whateverrrr. ooooh desperate housewives season finale on sunday...excellent-ness. and brothers and sisters! i sense that crying will happen during the latter.

oh blah blah blah. ok im signing off now. must focus. grey's goodness. loveitloveitloveit.