mothers

totally bored, dissatisfied, and furthermore completely disinterested in life at the moment. know its not really that bad but feel very stagnant and like any progress made (in any sphere of existence) is actually just a series of deceptive, false starts. and my relatively laid back protestant mother has turned into a nagging jewish one - insistent upon reminding me that 'at almost 24, i dont have many good years left' and one day 'will wake up and be 35 and realize life has passed me by and will never get married or have kids.' actually, forget the nagging jewish mother bit - the woman has just turned into her own mother - my grandmother - whose legendary and supremely sensitive sound bites include:

'it's all downhill from here' (upon my mothers 30th birthday)


and

'so rob, you're a spic right?' (upon meeting my father, an italian - it should be noted also that my mother's chiding response to this was 'no mom! he's a wop!)

and

'today oprah was talking about a book that i think you should buy called 'he's just not that into you'' (upon a bit of a rough patch in someone's marriage).

and for further illustration - in case you needed any:

this is a woman who, on my 21st birthday, gave me a hand mirror, a hair brush, and a book entitled 'An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness', about living with bi-polar disorder which, incidentally, i do not have. not only was i given such a book as a birthday gift, but i was misdiagnosed by my own grandmother.

since, by all accounts, my great-grandmother also possessed this kind of social delicacy then I am doomed to not only evolve into the same, but to pass it on to my female progeny.

that is, of course, assuming i heed my mother and answer the death knell of my biological clock.